Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Heck, why not
I was intrigued anew by the possibilities presented by the Proverbs idea, and decided to follow through on my plan to expand the piece a bit. Here we go:
1. In which the Piece is introduced
The wisdom of man had scarcely began
When the malice of Satan encroached:
He crafted sweet lies that would ably disguise
Any truth that the speaker approached.
This dull and bromidic maxim crew
Cloaks salt in a veil of honey,
And maketh too sweet such a sensible brew,
That the grave becometh funny.
What follows then, my noble friend,
Is a catalogue - no ways complete -
Of various falsehoods that grossly pretend
To be useful and wise and concrete.
2. Optimism -or- The linings of diuers Clouds
"It's always darkest before the dawn,"
Now, where is the truth in that?
The doughty blush of the atmosphere
Is rolled by the sun thereat.
"There're plenty of fish in the sea, my friend,"
Will hardly give satisfaction
To the man who's been stung by his paramour,
Or the whimsy of love's light attraction.
"Time," it is said, "shall heal all wounds,"
But the doctor such notions rejects:
Without great attention and fluid retention
The wound, ill at ease, oft infects.
3. Prosperity and Success
"Slowly but steady shall win the race,"
Has sent many men to their death.
The slow are o'errun by the fleetest of foot
As, crawling, they struggle for breath.
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,"
Is a very strange thing, as you know.
For having a bird in one's hand is quite odd,
And two in a bush doubly so.
"A penny saved is a penny earned"
Quite fails to deliver relief
To the poor gormless fool whose pennies are saved
In the purse of some delicate thief.
4. Behaving Well; Ethicks
"Do unto others as they to you:"
In abstract, it's as worthy as gold,
But fails abjectly with masochists,
Or with meek men 'mongst those that are bold.
"The devil makes work for idle hands"
Has put many young sloths in a tizzy;
The trouble, of course, is that Old Knock prefers
To bamboozle the hands of the busy.
"If thou can't saith fair, then say nowt,"
As a rule it is sorely at fault.
For when preached by those men with political clout,
All reform gently grinds to a halt.
5. In which the Piece is concluded
The wiser a man believeth himself,
The less he shall dare to confess
That the bulk of his wisdom's in foul euphemism,
Without which he could not express.
And so the age grows duller;
No man says what he means,
Nor means what he says or indeed what he thinks
As o'er the words he careens.
But of all the tripe we've laid to waste,
There's one that dwarfs them all.
Now hear the greatest lie on Earth!
Now see that evil fall:
"Sticks and stones will break my bones,
But words shall harm me barely."
Nonsense, of course; words are Hell-forged knives
That skewer poor devils unfairly.
==
I do not feel up to commenting on the piece. There it is. More later, perhaps. ¶ 7:22 PM
1. In which the Piece is introduced
The wisdom of man had scarcely began
When the malice of Satan encroached:
He crafted sweet lies that would ably disguise
Any truth that the speaker approached.
This dull and bromidic maxim crew
Cloaks salt in a veil of honey,
And maketh too sweet such a sensible brew,
That the grave becometh funny.
What follows then, my noble friend,
Is a catalogue - no ways complete -
Of various falsehoods that grossly pretend
To be useful and wise and concrete.
2. Optimism -or- The linings of diuers Clouds
"It's always darkest before the dawn,"
Now, where is the truth in that?
The doughty blush of the atmosphere
Is rolled by the sun thereat.
"There're plenty of fish in the sea, my friend,"
Will hardly give satisfaction
To the man who's been stung by his paramour,
Or the whimsy of love's light attraction.
"Time," it is said, "shall heal all wounds,"
But the doctor such notions rejects:
Without great attention and fluid retention
The wound, ill at ease, oft infects.
3. Prosperity and Success
"Slowly but steady shall win the race,"
Has sent many men to their death.
The slow are o'errun by the fleetest of foot
As, crawling, they struggle for breath.
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,"
Is a very strange thing, as you know.
For having a bird in one's hand is quite odd,
And two in a bush doubly so.
"A penny saved is a penny earned"
Quite fails to deliver relief
To the poor gormless fool whose pennies are saved
In the purse of some delicate thief.
4. Behaving Well; Ethicks
"Do unto others as they to you:"
In abstract, it's as worthy as gold,
But fails abjectly with masochists,
Or with meek men 'mongst those that are bold.
"The devil makes work for idle hands"
Has put many young sloths in a tizzy;
The trouble, of course, is that Old Knock prefers
To bamboozle the hands of the busy.
"If thou can't saith fair, then say nowt,"
As a rule it is sorely at fault.
For when preached by those men with political clout,
All reform gently grinds to a halt.
5. In which the Piece is concluded
The wiser a man believeth himself,
The less he shall dare to confess
That the bulk of his wisdom's in foul euphemism,
Without which he could not express.
And so the age grows duller;
No man says what he means,
Nor means what he says or indeed what he thinks
As o'er the words he careens.
But of all the tripe we've laid to waste,
There's one that dwarfs them all.
Now hear the greatest lie on Earth!
Now see that evil fall:
"Sticks and stones will break my bones,
But words shall harm me barely."
Nonsense, of course; words are Hell-forged knives
That skewer poor devils unfairly.
==
I do not feel up to commenting on the piece. There it is. More later, perhaps. ¶ 7:22 PM
